Reddit Thread: Don't Touch My Red Hair!

Redheads experience many unique things in life. Unfortunately, not all of these experiences are positive ones. If there is one common redhead experience we wish we could stop, it would be strangers touching our red hair. We know getting comments about the rarity of our hair color can be flattering, but some people forget about boundaries and want to feel/grab red hair when they see it. One parent of a redheaded child wrote about this exact experience on Reddit.

The parent wrote, “My 8-year-old daughter has red hair, leaning more toward auburn. She’s never cut it. We call it the ‘Long Hair Don’t Care’ club cause mine is pretty long, too. Her’s, though, is so long she has to pull it out from under her when she sits. She LOVES her hair. So do her father and I. Every redhead knows that people will always try to touch it in public- mostly older white ladies.”

The mom goes on to explain how an older woman in the grocery store reached out to touch her daughter’s hair. The daughter verbally told her, “Don’t touch me!” But it seems the message was not received. The stranger found the child again and ran her hand down her red ponytail. The child and the parent both had some choice words for this woman, and the little redhead even told the stranger she would “bite her” if she did it again.

The people of Reddit loved this post, and many chimed in with their own stories. Many people with curly hair had similar experiences, and even a few redheads shared that they, too, had been touched in public. Here are some of our favorite comments:

“As I redhead, I know this first hand. What is wrong with people!!!! Please stop trying to pet us!! Your daughter is amazing. I’m due next month, and if my girl has red hair, I hope she’s as feisty as yours!”

“As a redhead that’s been touched by strangers ALL THE TIME, thank you!!! You’re an amazing mom, and she’s lucky to have someone teaching her boundaries!”

“Redhead here who once had some woman sneak up behind me and cut off some of my hair so her “stylist could match it.” I was ten years old, and my mom did nothing. I wonder where my difficulty setting boundaries comes from. We will never know. It’s a mystery. But seriously OP, good for you for sticking up for your baby. I hate people like that.”

This isn’t an isolated instance, and we’re sure many redheads and parents of redhead kids have similar stories. The moral here? Please keep your hands to yourself; our rare hair isn’t there for your enjoyment. It’s part of our bodies, and it’s demeaning and violating to touch us without consent.

Looking for ways to respond to people who want to touch your hair?

Here are some responses or actions:

“I’d rather you not touch my hair, but thank you for asking.”
“I’m not comfortable with people touching my hair.”
Politely step back and say, “Please respect my personal space.”
Offer a smile and say, “I appreciate the interest, but I prefer to keep my hair untouched.”
Use humor: “My hair’s not a petting zoo, but thanks for asking!”
Calmly explain, “I like to keep my hair personal. I hope you understand.”
say, “No touching, please,” and move away if necessary.
“I’m a bit particular about my hair, so I’d prefer if you didn’t touch it.”
“I’m susceptible about my hair, so I’d appreciate it if you could keep your hands to yourself.”
“Touching my hair isn’t something I’m comfortable with. Thanks for understanding.”
“I know my hair is unique, but I’d rather it not be touched.”
“I’m glad you like my hair, but please don’t touch it.”
“I value my personal space, so I’d rather you didn’t touch my hair.”
“My hair’s a bit personal, so I’d prefer it if you didn’t touch it.”
“I get that it’s fascinating, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my hair.”
Politely but firmly mention, “I’ve had people touch my hair before, and it’s something I’d like to avoid.”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t touch my hair. Thanks for respecting that.”
“I’m going to step away now. Thanks for understanding.”