By: Alyssa Showalter

In a world that values romance or relationships so much, it is good to let go of social obligations and just let the wind dance with my gorgeous red locks.

I am a redhead, from birth, twenty-six-years-old and never been kissed. And, I have never been in a relationship.


I want to share and celebrate this because I (like many) was raised in a society where people told me that I would have plenty of boyfriends, simply because I have red hair and blue eyes. Over the years, grandmas and grandpas would compliment me on my natural beauty saying,“You must drive the boys crazy.”

My response was always flat, “No. Not really. Never been a relationship, actually.”

READ: How to Have a Relationship with a Redhead

Of course, shock and a gasp would follow, while I mentally rolled my eyes. By the age of seventeen, I was tired of this conversation.

Eventually, I stopped being annoyed and actually asked myself, “What is wrong with me?”

According to society, I should have had at least two boyfriends or one relationship by now.

The teen movies have told me that I should have lost my virginity by eighteen, but here I am, still in one piece and untouched. People claim I am not ugly; even I can see that. Green-blue eyes, with natural copper hair, light freckles and pale skin. No, I am not ugly.

I have had guys flirt with me. My sisters have seen it, and even my Dad watched boys try to flirt with me. I was the only one who didn’t notice. Not until I ran into one guy who was not so graceful, and painfully obvious that I finally caught on. One would think that after catching on and noticing guys actually like me, that I would get on the romantic relationship bandwagon. Well, to my family’s disappointment, I did not.

I watched that wagon go on without me, knowing another one is bound to pass again.

Here is my reason why I choose to be single: I am still learning to love me. I understand that I need to love myself before I can love another. In other words, I am enjoying my single life, and until I meet someone who changes that, I am following the example of Disney’s Princess Merida.

Girls, enjoy your single life, let your hair flow in the wind.

Ride and shoot arrows off into the sunset.

Be wild and free.

Don’t just paint the town red, set the world on fire and, as always, Rock it like a Redhead! 

  • Jennifer Smith

    Way to go! If there was one piece of advice that I could give my younger self, it would be to embrace the single life and quit trying so hard to find a boyfriend. I never really learned how to love myself until I turned 40. I’m now 42 & while I’ve been happily married for nearly 20 years, I’d still like to go back and be able to learn who I was during my 20’s. You just keep right on rocking it!

  • Melissa

    This was so useful for me right now, all my friends are going through relationships and I’m just here waiting at age 22, thinking if I will be single for the rest of my life… Good to know I’m not the only “pretty readhead” out there without having any romantic relationship.

  • Jessica

    Thank you for such a beautiful article, Alyssa! In today’s “you-must-live-life-in-the-fast-line” obsession, it’s nice to hear that it’s OK to be single and hold out for that special person. This message needs to be taught to all young girls and women! I’m currently struggling with the whole “Why am I still single?” crisis. Your article reminded me how important it really is to love yourself first.

  • Rose M

    Good for you! I definitely agree it is good to know yourself and what you want in a relationship before heading into one- saves the heartbreak down the road.