We often get asked by redheads how they can deal with jokes, teasing, and comments made by friends about their hair color. We see this comment from younger redheads most often, but from adult redheads too. We wish there was one solid answer we could give to make it stop, but unfortunately, this is something a lot of redheads deal with. The best we can give you is some advice we wish we had when we were younger.
Don’t take it personally
If joking or teasing feels good-spirited from strangers, acquaintances, or people who aren’t important, try to shrug it off. As long as the comments aren’t hurtful, it’s not worth starting an argument. If the comments are hurtful, derogatory, or downright mean, then that’s another issue. Or if the comments are coming from those close to you, it’s time to take other steps.
If it hurts your feelings, it isn’t a joke
Ask yourself: do these comments hurt my feelings? If the answer is yes, it’s not a joke. If it doesn’t bother you, find a way to joke back with your friends. If the comments are bothering you, it’s time to speak up.
Here are some comebacks you can use:
1. “Thanks for noticing! I like to think my hair adds some color to our group.”
2. “Yep, I’ve got the rarest hair color, like finding a unicorn in a field of horses.”
3. “At least my hair has personality, unlike some people’s.”
4. “Your hair’s just jealous it can’t be as awesome as mine.”
5. “Red hair, don’t care!”
6. “Every joke you make about my hair color just proves how much attention you pay to me.”
7. “Well, I’ll always be easy to spot in a crowd.”
8. “Guess I’m just too hot to handle with this fiery hair!”
9. “Keep the jokes coming, it’s giving me material for my stand-up routine.”
10. “Yeah, being a redhead comes with its fan club. Jealous?”
Remember, the key is to respond with confidence and humor, turning the teasing into a playful exchange rather than letting it affect you negatively.
Speak up
It’s scary standing up for yourself, but it’s necessary. If the people saying these comments to you are friends, they should hear you out. Tell them how these comments negatively affect you, and how it makes you feel. Most people don’t want their friends to feel bad, and may not even know they are hurting your feelings. Ginger jokes have become a part of our society, and many people say them without even thinking about how they may impact people with red hair. If the comments are coming from someone you aren’t friendly with, or find yourself feeling unsafe, tell a parent, a teacher, a boss, or a friend who can help you.
Distance yourself
If your standing up for yourself isn’t received well, the jokes don’t stop, or you feel unsafe, it’s time to distance yourself. It’s hard to end a friendship or create distance between someone in your life, but anyone who hears you saying you’re feeling hurt and won’t stop isn’t your friend. You will find people who love and cherish you just the way you are, and who respect your feelings. Gradually spend less time with them and seek out other friendships or activities that make you feel valued and respected. Be polite but firm in declining invitations or initiating contact. Focus on building connections with people who appreciate you for who you are.
Find your community
Don’t settle for friends who don’t respect you. You can find your people! We’ve built a big online community of redheads right here at H2BAR, and know there are redheads out there ready to empower, embrace, and accept you just the way you are.
Passionate about your red hair and want to spread the word? Join the H2BAR Brand Ambassador Program!
Rock it like a Redhead!
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